Whether you’re a FOMO or a FORO, you’re making instinctive financial decisions based on your genetics plus the lessons you learned and the feedback you got, usually in childhood. In other words, you’ve been programmed to respond this way, and your reptilian or feeling brain is in charge. If this is negatively impacting your relationships and/or your life—if you’re mired in credit card debt and/or not saving for retirement, or if you have scads of money in the bank but no joy—you lack Financial Happiness and need to get your rational or thinking brain more involved.
So, how do you go about changing something that’s so innate? How do you shift your Money Why? The key is lengthening the time between the stimulus and the action. The longer you delay, the more time your rational brain will have to take over.
Here are 7 ways to pause for the cause:
- HALT. Alcoholics Anonymous suggests its members use this acronym when tempted to have a drink. It stands for Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. The next time you’re about to make a significant financial decision, ask yourself if any of these feelings are driving you. If so, address that first, then make your decision.
- Disrupt habits. The more you do something, the more automatic it becomes. For example, let’s say you’re a high school teacher. When the final bell rings after a hard day, you unwind by shopping. As you destress, you run up debt. To break that habit, try listening to a comedy podcast on the drive home or hitting the gym.
- Talk to yourself. Imagine a friend is asking for advice on the same financial dilemma you’re facing. Have that conversation, only with yourself.
- Monitor HR. My Apple Watch measures heart rate. I just open the app and place my finger on the digital crown. If my pulse is higher than normal (an adult’s resting heart rate is generally between sixty and a hundred beats per minute), I know this probably isn’t the best time to tell the contractor to break ground for the new pool.
- Breathe. Inhale for a count of five, hold for two, exhale for eight, hold for two. Repeat this series at least eight times. This is my go-to when heart rate spikes
- Imagine yourself ten years from now. Look back on the financial challenge you’re facing from the future. This will provide instant perspective. Zoom in, and there’s confusion. Zoom out, and there’s clarity.
- Get away nearby. One reason we enjoy vacations is that they distance us from the hassles of daily life. That’s why they’re called “getaways.” If you can’t take an extended vacation, try a mental one. Go for a hike or play with your grandkids. By engaging with the outside world, you’ll disengage from your inner world and activate your thinking brain.
I used to be a diehard FORO. But after my son died, I realized that you never know what tomorrow will bring. Since then, I’ve become more of a FOMO. I bought a vacation condo, and I turned the basement into a playroom. Spending money on these things wasn’t easy for me, but I finally stopped my feeling brain from instantly saying NO and let my thinking brain reason that I’m not getting any younger, I can afford these things, and—most importantly—I deserve them.